in time of need

So t got sick and after seeing a doctor and went through some test she was diagnosed with cyst. It’s already in a worrying size so the doctor recommended that she needs an operation.

A few days later, early Friday morning g got a call about this and t asked her to go with her to the hospital. G immediately said yes, but at the same time gave t a hard time for not telling her earlier. T’s only reply was, “I was too embarrassed, please don’t tell anyone.”

G shared me about this when there was no way to keep such matter as a secret. First of all t works with a lot of people, and she hangs out with them too, she even live with a couple of them. They definitely will notice if she comes home late, let alone went missing for a several days for staying at the hospital.

T’s decision really got us thinking. She had an illness, she wasn’t asking for it. So why embarrassed? Then her being secretive almost prevented her from getting the help and caring she needed after operation. T was thinking of going home that same day, but g insisted that she had to follow doctor’s order and stay at least a couple of days.

It’s understandable if someone doesn’t want to be a burden to other people, but when you’re sick, does that really show of being independent or actually arrogant?

Am not judging t in anyway, because I can see myself in the same scenario. Long ago I thought if I ever got really sick I won’t stay in Bali, I’d fly to Jakarta (of course if the condition permits me to). I’ve to admit on the days I was sick like a puppy I pretty much took care of myself and refused to be a burden. Now, the same question applies: did that really show me being independent or actually arrogant?

hey kiddo!

How should you feel around a child?

Of course depends on the age of the child. Young children are usually fun to be with (at least for me). Of course there are times when they’re just restless and rebellious. While older kids, they start to show who they are.. or who they think they are.

Recently I got to know this kid who is so much different than any other child. I’ve met some spoiled brats, but maybe since I refuse to deal deeply with them I just ignore them. The problem is when you just can’t avoid them.

This kid isn’t really rebellious or spookie, just a kid that makes you uncomfortable to be around. Can this happen? Well, it does with me. This is what my friend think about this kid: If they make you anxious, nervous, uncomfortable, then they are not grounded. If they make you feel calm, relaxed, etc, then they are. Simple. A grounded person is someone who has a good sense of themselves (which means their limitations and their place in the world and /or universe) who does not deal with people as things but as sentient beings of value.

Can’t agree less with that definition, now the thing is how to deal with them? Should I discipline them when they start to act? Should I just ignore them when they talk to me with they whiny demanding voice (do you have any idea how irritating that is??)?

I figure it’s the parent’s duty to teach them and discipline them, help them to be a well grounded person. If that doesn’t happen I guess this kid has all the world to teach her. And I can imagine, it will be a lot more painful.

Nyepi

(seclusion day)

It’s a Balinese Hindu festival .It was completely secluded day, nobody could pass the road, not on foot, not on a bike, let alone in a car, even the airport is shut down for 1 whole day. At private homes nobody’s allowed to turn on the lights (people stick black garbage bags on their windows so the light won’t be seen). So for one whole day (last Friday) the whole island was completely quiet. Of course tourists in hotels can do whatever they want, as long as they stay within the premise.

For about 2 weeks I dithered whether I should stay in Bali, or go back to Jakarta or travel elsewhere. This is my 4th Nyepi, and the past 3 years I always flew out of the island. The ide of being stuck in 1 place and can’t do anything sure dreaded me. But a few days before I get my tickets I got news that my parents and sister who live in Jakarta were traveling. So I decided to cancel my trip (and the opportunity to see a jazz concert) and stayed in Bali. I stayed in a friend’s house. Very nice of her for taking me in on last minute. We spent the day chatting, cooking and most of the time watched cable.

What I observed prior to the festival was I don’t understand why people were so busy preparing for a day where they’re not supposed to do anything. 1-2 days prior you could see cars queuing on supermarket entrances (imagine the checking lanes queus), and queues in the gas stations. It just didn’t make any sense. I mean I could live with whatever I got on my fridge for that day without having to waste time queuing, so what’s with the madness? People seemed to be rushing all over the place, buying a month worth grocery for just one day? And it was so strange that we heard a motorbike passed and some firework. It only a quick noise, but still puzzling.

Anyway, I survived it, not so bad after all, as long as you got good company and small project to work on. Or even try to act like a Balinese, although you don’t need to be Balinese to take 1 quiet day and reflect, yes?

rahajeng nyepi...